We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
