i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
