FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
