haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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