i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
