I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
