got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
