the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
