Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
