We won't sleep together?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
