ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
