I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
