Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
