So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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