who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
bring money and cleavage
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I need moral support for this bender
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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