talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
