To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
