where am i from again
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
