can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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