carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
