are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
