just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
