absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
