omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I understand Curling. That high.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
