Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
