make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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