one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
