I'm drive I can fine osifer
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
