Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He felt like a one man threesome
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
