i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
