it was like eating out sand paper
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
