it's too hot outside to masturbate.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
