its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
