U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
