You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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