Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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