I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
