you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
