he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
