i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
