trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it was like eating out sand paper
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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