dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
