Pregnant stripper...not hot.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
