Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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