Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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