in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
