i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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