If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
