How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
