Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
