Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
